wah...diz whole week nv blog. ok..lets see...
monday: i cant rmb wad i did. oh yea. had organ lesson? den i cant rmb da rest.
tuesday: cHiNeSe OrAl... im lyk soo dead 4 it. i cldnt read at least 7 words & the conversation was less den a min i tink? it was damn pathetic. the conversation rEaLly sucked. mental block. darn. den after oral went 4 netball... was quite late liaoz... den we played some games... not netball match.. some 'pass the ball down' game... tt means pass the ball down the row in different style ba... haiya. dunno how 2 say lah. but it was fun..hahaz. mrs yong's training is alwaex more fun den ms cheng's. i wish she comes down more often (:
wednesday: cant rmb wad i did lehz. heez. oH yEa!!! i watched Mama Mia! it was not bad lah... ABBA songs r shooo niceee!!! i wanted the souvenir bear.. but sho exp. so we onli got a program booklet. sigh. mama mia..here i go again... ...
thursday: had tuition... i decided 2 give in 2 my mom lah... let her happy a bit. i purposely did my compo SUPAR slow so i had sth 2 do while waiting 4 time 2 pass. so every1 left first lah. den i stay back 4 15 mins den i go. my mom's so sickening! im so not gonna stay back loh..so sianz. ugh.
friday: erm..rickie came back... but onli walked pass him..din really got a chance 2 tok 2 him? sigh. anw had art lesson also.. my project totally sucks man..looks so fake. haiz. den at nite had chi tuition... Sherry damn power sia... she can control guys 1 leh. ahha. gurrrl powerrr!!! he* still so shuai!!! ahhhh!!! hahaz. bt i onli tink he shuai hor... dun anyhow say i haf a crush on him hor. (heard tt, u sickening kenneth?? stop spreading rubbish! *sry jessie! hurhur*) i gotta say sry 2 lydia also...[yup. sth happened 2 ur fishy. apparently it got kidnapped by some hungry aliens & dissappeard. :'( im sOoOooo sorrwie gal! i juz relised it todae... i suddenly rmb abt her present but cant find. i'll try 2 search 4 it kz! sry!
todae ken & meng han came my hse... do lit project... almost done le.... see! the boy looks not bad rite! told ya i cld sew! (: although i onli sewed 5% of it & my maid did da rest. hehe. diz yr achieve a lot of skills man..haha. im sOo independent! :D oh yea... i locked myself out of da hse also. wen we went out 2 fetch meng han. haha. but luckily met my maid outside.. if not we hafta wait outside the hse. haha. im so absent minded. hehe. & kenneth's gonna laf at me again. >.<
gotta go church nw... cya!
[do i look lyk im happy?]
*muz tell self.... be happy-go-lucky...

writtern @4:21 PM

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
juz cut my hair!!! darn it sucks! ughhh... how am i going 2 skool tmr!!! arghyyy... dunno y hor... everytime i go 2 tt same guy 2 cut ritez... i come out screaming & whining. & yet i still go back 2 him. haha. im sho stoopid. ugh.
hmm... lets recall ytd... went 4 sci & math tuition.... we did science revision... did a past yr paper... out of 20 qns i got 11 crry only.. im soOo gonna fail... ughhh & i onli started my revision todae... did the first 3 chpts... so easy... tts y can do 3 chpts in a day. haha. bet i'll forget everything by tmr. sigh... im so dead... anw. so later in the evening i went 4 my church ministry attachment...quite fun act... although i din noe the other 8 ppl there who r frm the saturday class. den i was so shocked 2 see michelle there... another michelle duh. frm gess de...but dunno which class... found her familiar but wasnt sure. so i juz kept quiet. den lata she came up & asked whether i was frm her skool. hur. yea.. but we still dun really noe each other? so i stood at the door opening it 4 ppl... den brought up the offerings 2 the altar... i tink i was holding the holy water. not quite sure. it was juz transparent. wad else can it be? ha. i dunno? but it went well cuz another gal was friendly... den i din feel so lonely. we were lyk friends. ha. lame. so.. yup. it went well (: wonder if nxt week we get 2 collect money. not collect money 4 ourselves, but 4 the church. im juz afraid the pole's too long & heavy. ha. den after church rushed 2 some hotel in Changi.. dunno wads it called. went ther 4 dinner 2 celebrate my grandmother's bdae. she turns 78 todae. happy birthday! she wun get 2 see diz. but wAdeVa... den explored the hotel cuz my mom's staying ther 4 a nite... some company conference lah... yea... den sh so lucky.. her roommate was sick so she has the room 2 herself. ha. the room's nice leh... can look into the toilet frm outside 1 cuz ther's a glass between the toilet & the room. but of cuz u can pull down the blinds lah. if not let every1 see u naked meh. sick. hahaz. den left the hotel at 10.30pm...
haiz.. my eyes r tired. cnnt open. juz cried. i juz cant help tinking of it... it keeps haunting me. looks lyk i really hafta fake my smiles (: haiz.... y muz it be lyk tt!!! whyyy... why is life so pathetic??? sighhh... i really dun wanna be lyk dis... i wanna be happy... lyk every1 else... i can laugh at jokes & stuff... but wen the humour is not ther anymore... i juz tink of it again. haiz... i need a cheer-booster. cldnt Einstein invent 1? or...wld U be the 1? ...if u ever bother 2 read diz... haiz...

writtern @5:46 PM

fInaLly got the time 2 blog... been pretty busy... but i tink tts kinda wad i wan 2. i wanna keep myself bz so tt my mind wld be occupied. haiz... i wanna be lyk last time... always so cheerful & smiling all the way... i've decided tt tts juz wad im gonna do 4 as long as i can last. im gonna laf my way thru life. even though its not furnie at all o anything.. im gonna laf it thru. laughter is da best cure rite? hmmm... so lets see wad i did diz week... nth unusual... except i took another step towards independence! i cooked my first scrambled egg wif onions ALL BY MYSELF!!! hehehe... im soo proud of myself!!! wow~ cant believe i've become such a matured & independent woman so fast! haha... (rite jessie?) yup. she totally agrees. (: tts y i lyk sitting beside her! :P
hmm.. diz week starting on lit project..every1 lyk rushing with it.. haha. i hafta admit ours is pathetic! damn simple & plain. not much effort de... see other grps do so much...so chim... den ours lyk.. primary skool work.. haha. diz week really nth much lah. todae had netball.. usual... den went 4 tuition.. haiz.. frm nw onwards dawn's class timing change le... den nxt time no 1 pei wo take bus if my mom cnnt fetch... no more crap.. although her crap quite irritating sometimes lah.. but betta den being lonely.. haha. dawn! if u're reading diz...frm nw on, im giving u permission 2 continue crap-ping & sharing ur 'jokes' kz? i'll juz laf at them. hurhur.
tmr my church ministry attachment starts!! so excited!!! but the sad thing is.. im the only 1 frm my sunday class who joined the 'greeters' ministry... k lah. i admited 2 veh slack lah huh... but wadeva...haha. the others r frm the saturday class & i dun noe them.. haiz... bt im still so excited! hehe. tmr also my grandmother's bdae... going out 4 dinner after church... wish me luck kz!
*yawn* damn tired... gonna slp liaoz... nitez!

writtern @10:13 PM

its gonna be a bOring sunday... no one's home! eldest bro prob. dancing & sec bro going out. dad's golfing. oh yea, he came back ytd but din get 2 see him cuz i was out the whole day & he had a dinner at nite & came back at 12am. i was areadi asleep by then cuz i ws bored. my dad is so relax... so gd. haha. last nite i was in orchard & he called me at 9+ den he juz said dun come home so late. tts all! if my mom was here... she'll ask me 2 go home by 6! act fri she called home & said cnnt be home after 8. den i said ok. but i juz din care..stayed in orchard so late. see arhz... w/o parents or my mom arh... all of us havoc liaoz. on fri nite, my sec bro, who is w/o a driving license drove my dad's Lexus car out 2 fetch his gf home. den he came back & there were scratches & cracks on the back of the car! & its lyk so big loh... tt stoopid boy... & i dun tink my dad has scolded him or is going 2. cuz he deserves 2 be scolded & punished man... he's w/o a license! & even my eldest bro who has a license is also desciplined enuff 2 noe not 2 drive my dad's car. i knew i shld haf kept the car key knowing tt he confirm will drive it loh. shldnt his gf lyk stop him too??? ugh. tt was the sec time he drove out but last time nth happened so i juz kept it frm my parents. anw on friday i had 'extra' eng lessons. i tot my tcr tot my work was terrible so wanted an extra lesson juz wif me alone. den i later found out it was my mom who wanted me 2 haf extra lesson. my mom act ask my tcr 2 lIe 2 me. wad's up wif my mom man... & she also told my tcr 2 ask me 2 stay back everywk after class 2 do extra work wif me. wth?! & im not supposed 2 noe diz cuz my mom told her not 2 tell me -.-" ughhh wad's WIF my mom?!?! my english is not tt bad okiez! i noe its not gOod lah.. but its on an average level! some ppl even say i dun need eng tuition. sometimes my mom is sOo sickening can! ughhhh!!!! & i walked all the way 2 the center juz 4 a half-hr lesson, which supposed 2 be 1 hr but tcr din haf anything 2 do wif me! i've been passing up my hw, & my work is gd too! wth... den she only 'explained' grammar 2 me 4 15mins? den the other 15mins we were chatting crap & my tcr told me wad my mom has done & kept it frm me. haha. but we paid 4 a 1hr lesson. wad a waste of $ 4 a 1/2hr lesson & i din even learn a SiNgle thing. haiz. but im glad i went out ytd... got 2 de-stress. went ronald's hse 2 play badminton wif a few other peeps. ron quite pro lehz..haha. but budi's cousin more pro. heh. he really damn pro. during tt 2hrs of playing i smack the shuttlecock until damn shuang... feels so much betta after tt. haha. den after tt went char's hse 2 change & 7 of us went orchard... only 6 of us played den hartman joined us lata.. char so happy. oh yea.. thruout the whole nite, me & char was looking out 4 cute babies. haha. too bad rick also din go. haiz. we walk ard den 8+ went mcdonalds 2 eat.. but i din eat my dinner. juz din haf the appetite. haiz. den we sat ther & chatted... it was quite fun 2 juz sit down & chat. most of the time budi was full of his sick jokes. tts all he ever tinks of. haha. but he spoke in indonesian so the 3 galz din understand. but i guess tts a gd thing. hee. but some they spoke in eng. ugh. sick. but darn furnie also... den 9.15 i had 2 leave..so every1 left too... den yea.. i took the bus alone..haiz. if he was ther maybe can take same bus again. haha. but.. haiz... well anw i had a gd time... but after i said gdbye 2 them..its lyk i felt so lonely & sad again.. maybe i shld go out more often & haf fun rather den locking myself up at home tinking how miserable life is. oh yea... i wanted 2 cut hair todae..but my mom not here... nv make appointment wif john... ugh. tmr hafta go skool wif hair below collar line again... i hope they dun check. if not im so dead cuz its so obvious. but i wun be surprise if my form tcrs dun catch me cuz they're sOo blur & useless! since last term my hair has been below the line 4 soo long & i've nv been caught. hah! see how blind my tcrs r???
sigh...gotta stop here... havent started studying 4 da tests! havent even completed my hw! im so dead...skool reopens tmr! "awwwwww!!!"

writtern @1:32 PM

haiz... its all coming back to me... i dunno y i wanna go dig out the past... not like its affecting me now. but there's juz this eagerness to tink abt it & recall it.. i duno y... but i... i juz feel that... haix.. i also dunno how 2 say... im juz damn fed up inside... & i cant say it out... cuz ther's no 1 to listen. i dunno y i feel so hurt... i cant believe diz. diz suckz...totally. y cant i juz stay excited abt saturday? im gonna play badminton tmr! wif char & ron & rick! my parents r both overseas! no 1 to report 2! whee i shld be sOo happy! haix. i dun wanna feel lyk diz.. i needa vent eveything out.. i needa pour eveything out.. i feel so bottled up insde... i wanna cry it all out & den feel betta. but tears juz wun fall. & wen it does, its always at the wrong time wen ther r others ard. wth. ughhh. forget it. im gonna talk abt how great it has been on wednesday & thursday.
wednesday went met up wif janice, char, jess & zan at orchard after their movie cuz i had no mood 2 watch the movie... den we went kinokuniya & spend quite a long time there chooseing stamps. haha. den we went SAM... did 2 art reviews on my own.. the rest of my grp cnnt go. ugh. but i still had no choice... someone's gotta do it. and it as 2 be me. great. den finished at ard 5.30 i tink... den char wanted 2 meet ron they all at orchard... & i was supposed 2 meet my mom at far east after her work. so we went orchard tgt... den later i found out my mom went home areadi. so i dun needa meet her at far east. den decided 2 follow char wif da guyz. den walked ard until 7.30... had some fun... den the guys took the same bus as me... and he was standing beside me da whole time (= but they alighted first... yea... den went home... & my mom was packing for her trip to shanghai... den i wrote out my shopping list fer her... heheh. she'd betta come back wif lOts of stuff 4 me! too bad my bros din give her their shopping list. tOo bad guys! whahaha.
thurday had netball.. i haf tuition in the afternoon so i went 2 support the Cdevision girls instead of playing fer the Bdivision... there was a carnival at MGS & they're skool is Soo much bigger & nicer! im so proud of our sec 1 galz. they're great! they got into second round & came in fourth... at least they went into sec round ritez. hee. den after tt mrs yong volunteered to drop me & jess & a few others home... she dropped me & jess at Empress road market den we 2 ate there.... den i came home... watched Dawson's creek... my bro dl the whole season 1... & i love the show.. its so... its so in real life... & i wld lyk 2 see how it goes. den maybe i will noe wad 2 do wif my life too. haix. i wish i knew. i wanna visit the 'tree os wisdom' or wadeva & find out how 2 deal wif my life. anyway... den i had tuition in the afternoon..made a new fren... haha. kinda. wen we were in the lift down... i asked him whether he knew rickie... & such a small world... they knew each other & happens 2 be in da same biology class... den we started toking..until all the way home... quite a long walk act... im surprised we cld come out wif topics 2 last the whole walk. haha. he's quite frenly act. but shy i tink. he stays at the corner hse... the same estate as me... veh near... & i muz be so blurr... nv see him b4 he joined the tuition wen i walk pass his hse everyday. haha. den we toked abt the dog at the other hse & how playful & cute it was. hurhur. see i made a new fren. haha. it was da first time i toked 2 him... last time we used 2 walk hme after tuition.. but he'll always be in front & im way behind... he's lyk always rushing hme & kinda running & im lyk stalking him behind, rite up 2 his hse. haha. den last nite my bro came back frm camp... dunno y he can always come out de. tt slacker... go NS totalli slack lohz... i slept at 12am in my parents' rm cuz they were away & i seize diz chance 2 slp on such a big bed wif a big tv & hi-fi set & nice room. i had so much space lieing in the middle of the bed wen my stoopid bro suddenly came in at 1am & lied beside me. den he woke me up(purposely hitting me) obviously i scolded him... den he wans 2 slp wif me on da same bed... dIao.. tt stpd fellow... muz be scared 2 slp alone in his rm. haha. or either tt he miss me lah..muz be... haha. den i had 2 move 2 1 side 2 make space 4 him... den we kept making each other... he kept making fun of me & i tickled him...ha! his weak point. stoopid. den after a while we fell aslp.. first time i slept on da same bed as my bro. but i cld haf enjoyed the whole bed 2 myself. >.< i woke up diz morning & he areadi left 2 go back 2 camp. gd! den i'll haf the whole hse 2 myself..lyk im da boss & diz is MY hse... haha. but its so quiet & lonely.. my eldest bro went 4 a job interview..my mom has been nagging at him 4 weeks 2 get a job & survive on his own. finally he took some action. well. wish him success... although i doubt he will get it. haha. but anw..still wish he can larh. i not sho mean :P but im so lonely..only my maid 2 accompany me.. but also dun tok 2 her... she doin her work..haiz. i tink im gonna watch the next episode of dawson's creek soon... im getting bored... juz wrote the whole art review... i mean putting all the reviews tgt.. but almost done onli. 1 more review & i hafta combine all 3 different reviews done by my grp members into 1 review. ugh. nvm. i dun even noe wad im saying. wAdEvA... i cant be bothered. act i can be happy wen i tink abt wed & thurs... although nth exciting happened... but at least i enjoyed myself in orchard & made a new fren. see... life can be happy.. but once i tink abt it... after a short while it doesnt affect me... & im back 2 tinking abt the sad stuff. haiz. sometimes i just get paraniod & pessimistic although things may not be tt way.. but i juz tink its tt bad way... i tink everything in a pessi. way. haiz. but maybe its true too... haiz. i need some1 2 listen...& the only person who noes abt da whole thing is too bz it seems. but im not saying tt that person doesnt care. i dun wan u 2 hate me fer saying diz again... but it juz seems lyk tt is the way most of the time. but any still thanks 4 being ther fer me sometimes... ok...most of the time. haix. i needa scream.. i needa de-stress.. cant wait fer tmr den i can vent everything out on da stpd shuttlecock. haix.

writtern @11:17 AM

hiax...looks lyk my wish for diz week 2 be as gd as last week is not coming true.. since areadi the start of the week & its sucks...totally... haiz... sunday went church... den i finally decided on my ministry attachment... the church's ministry attachment is fer every sec 2 students... & its lyk a job attachment 2 help out in church. its compulsory. & i was lazy so i juz chose 2 be a 'greeter'..sth lyk doorman lah..stand at the doors 2 open the door 4 others & smile & greet them? & i tink tts it. the only prob. is we hafta write journals everyweek on our 'job'. wad we learnt frm diz experience or wadeva, & i had nth much 2 write cuz i'll juz be stadning at the door?! act i was tinking of 'leading little ones to god'... tts helping out in a class fer kids below pri skool... help them wif their activities & look after them & sing along wif them & stuff lyk tt. tt wld haf so much more 2 write abt. but wadeva. haix... ytd had organ lesson... learning a new disney song.. its niceee... den at nite watched '13 going on 30' at cine... went wif my mom & bro. i was so glad he was going... cuz its been lyk YEARS since we went out tgt although it wasnt the whole family... the last time we had a whole family outing was chinese new yr wen we go visiting? yea..sad... hurhur. we ate dinner at pastamania den watched the show. it was nice... but after the show it wasnt nice at all. my bro wanted 2 drive my mom's brand new car which she juz received on saturday.. so she let him drive us home... den as usual.. she nag & nag wen he was driving lah... abt wad he shld or shldnt do... dun drive wif 1 hand...cuz he's used 2 driving wif 1 hand...dun drive so fast(act i get scared wen hes driving too..cuz its really fast) & becuz its her new car she of cuz will be worried lah... den she nag & nag lah..den he got fed up.. den shouted bac at her. hurhur. den she kept scolding all the way back... o..k... so maybe it din turn out well. dunno wen we're ever going out tgt again. nan de he can spend the days at home esp in the nite. cuz he ALWAYS goes out at nite... either bz wif his dance or gf. both my bros also... always spend their time wif gf one.... oh wadeva.. used 2 liao. hurhur. im always at home alone... but yea... used 2 liaoz. only haf my maid 4 company. & the neighbours' dogs barking. oh yeah! i juz found out they haf a 1-mth old baby! i din noe until they held a small party 2 celebrate it.. i soo din noe loh! i was lyk so shocked! our houses r lyk so damn close 2 each other... but i dun hear any baby cries or seen any! omg.. im sOoOo blur! so tired nw... feel lyk slping... went 2 kallang so early in the morning.. lyk 7.30? den netball ended at 12 arhz. haix... i cried during netball... yea... but i dun tink the others really knew lahz. cuz i was sitting at the end. i dunno... i suddenly tot of suicide. it kinda freaks me out. suddenly during netball..sitting ther watch the match. although i was act daydreaming. den suddenly took out my clip frm my hair & started 2 poke myself at the wrist. freaky. ha. den these tears juz started rolling down... den i quickly asked alex pei wo go toilet... act ther were a few times tt i wanted 2 cry.. but i juz kept it in. but i really cant stand it!!! im also sick of life. its all coming back 2 me. i wanna turn back time. no. den i'll hafta relive all diz again. i wanna skip all diz torture & juz fast-forward 2 da future. haiz... i juz wanna cryyyy.. i cant stand it!! i really needa de-stress. im so... ugh..how 2 describe.. i juz needa let it all out.. vent my anger or sth. argh. anw after netball went minz hse do cme project..haiz. i was kinda crazy...cuz somehow acting crazy helps. & singing. haix...

writtern @6:28 PM

diz week's ending liaoz... its been great man.. i hope every week can be diz gd... sigh... ok.. lets start frm.. thursdayy... hmm.. a bit of torture 2 my brain lahz. wrote 1 chi compo in class.. den had eng compre common test..during which i was almost falling aslp do din bother 2 write proper & full ans. haha. i really feel tt im gonna fail it. haiz. my eyes cld hardly open lohz... & i had 2 force it open 2 read tt stpd whole passage. den later had english tuition.. wrote another compo on Singlish. vErY surprisingly i felt quite energetic during the whole lesson! usually i'll haf 2 struggle 2 force my eyes open... & i was almost slping during da eng test earlier... weird i cld be so awake. den after eng tuition went fer chi tuition... wrote aNoThEr compo... so altogether i wrote 3 compos in a day. ugh. but chi tuition was quite fun...
Friday(yesterday)... normal skool day... den in the nite had Drama Fest... its was not bad lah... my fav play was the funeral 1. haha. i totaly din understand the poems. hehe. & i feel so guilty... i hafta apologise 2 jess & ken... fer being soooo 'bright'. haha. awww it was so romantic... under the dark blue sky of bright stars... act only 1 or 2 stars lah. but anw i bet they found it soo romantic.. haha. but i was the only 1 ther sitting beside jess.. so damn bright. ugh. haha. oh yeaa & my gor went 2... jessieeee!!! u betta bring earplugs the nxt time i meet u kz? cuz u noe wad im gonna say.. haha. really loh.. haiz. wasted again. but anw.. after the play we wait damn long 4 qian 2 come out frm her eldds meeting.. den the whole grp went 2 char's hse 2 parrrty.. haha.. no lahz. me, jess, zan, minz, le en, jing xin, xiang, qian, ronald, hartman, my gorr... & i forgot the other guy's name. haha. den we all go valley park & prder pizza... ate beside the poolside.. by the time the pizza came was areadi 10.30pm i tink... den it was so cool 2 sit beside the pool 2 eat... esp wen it was so late & no 1 else was ther... den i wanted Jolly Shandy... but tt stpd ron came back wif only ONE can wen al lthe galz wanted.. so we shared... each got a pathetic share of the drink. haha. & he bought bottles os soft drinks instead. ugh. i wanted jolly shandy... i wanna drink more den get drunk... drown my sorrows. haha. wld be sho much cool-er. haiz.......... den the other 3 guys left earlier....leaving ron behind.. the only guy. haha. den we sit round a table & chatted... until my mom came 2 pick me den all left tgt... haha. waitt fer me. hehe. sry yeahz... wanted 2 give jessie a ride but she pai shei. >.< it was so late wen we left.. abt 11.30 liaoz...tink the rest toook taxi back... it was so fun...valley park is so cool.. i tink tt place will be where all our parties will be held.. after tt meeting ther fer the dance.. haha. its pretty cool.
oh mannn!!! i hafta rush 2 complete my tuition hw le.. later got tuition.... arghyyy.. shall stop herrre... buaiz! (=

writtern @10:58 AM